I was interviewed yesterday by a very nice man who teaches mindfulness to ask me about mindfulness in the process of adoption. I became very engaged in this conversation as I see this as very much a missing link for many couples going through the process of infertility treatments and moving on to adoption.
There is so much energy focused on the end result – the baby that often times without meaning to, we lose sight of the journey to get there. Always doing, doing and not taking the time to either grieve any losses along the way or celebrate each step that brings us closer to the child we have dreamed about.
My own path to motherhood was very long and bumpy. It took six years from the time my husband and I married to the time we were blessed with our daughter via open domestic adoption after six failed IVF cycles. Back then, I have to admit I was swept away in the movement of the process but not present for much of it.
I feel strongly that a big piece of my work moving forward with couples is going to be adding this element – mindfulness into the adoption process. Taking time to breathe when things feel stressful, honoring when you feel sadness or loss, being fully joyful when things start moving in a positive direction.
Taking this forward into adoptive parenting I feel six years into it is crucial. Being present every day to your child and aware of their needs and feelings about being an adopted child. I will be bringing this issue up in further blog posts but wanted to dip my toe in the proverbial pool of it today while it was fresh on my mind.
Filed under: Mindfulness in Adoption on January 24th, 2011